Movie Ratings

movie reviews

0-2… Nope. Never. Don’t waste your time.

3-4… Might watch again. To make fun of it.

5-6… Some good things. Decent if you’re in the mood.

7-8… Would watch without hesitation.

9-10… Continous loop. Watch every week. Es perfecto!

Movie Title–Rating

**Black text has a review, red text does not


Stunning visuals, memorable performances, a gripping conclusion… Iliad and Odyssey with a whole lot of Brad Pitt.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)–7.9/10

Chainsaws, blood, and man this movie is so grusome it’s frightening and I never wanna go to Texas or drive a car or eat meat ever again. Also, Matt Bomer.


Super long, super intense, super confusing… super great.

The Crazies–8.4/10

The Purge: Western Style… with lots more blood. And guns. And a great sheriff. You should watch it, but not if you’re out in the country on a farm. No way.

The Others–8/10

A scary movie about a haunted mansion… or is it? ALSO! This movie literally has the best ending ever. I never saw it coming. SO GOODDDDDDD!!! I’m tired.

Let Me In–8.5/10

A movie with Chloe Moretz that is touching, scary, and ultimately memorable.

The Amityville Horror (2005)–8/10

The slow descent to insanity and a house that won’t let you leave alive.

What Lies Beneath–8/10

Harrison Ford, a mysterious lake, and lots of blood. What could be better? For real, it’s Harrison Ford.

Cabin in the Woods–7.5/10

One of the most intriguing horror movies, complete with its own conspiracies.

Carrie (2013)–9/10

Lots of blood and scares in one of Stephen King’s best stories.


Um… very graphic movie, and not a storyline, so yeah. A two.

Dead Silence–8.5/10

A surprisingly good, very mysterious horror movie. And the clown doll is the worst. I’m tired.


Good movie, interesting plot, just too many needless jokes for my tastes.


Waste of money, with a bad Santa that has elf clown puppet demonic crap things.

Taking of Deborah Logan–5/10

One of the weirdest possession movies I’ve ever seen…


Not the best movie ever, but a solid film all the same. You’ll never forget Eli.

The Ring–8.3/10

A scary girl from a well and lots of mystery… and a killer video tape. Lots better than it sounds. Solid end.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)–7/10

One of the most creative sequels/remakes I’ve seen, but also very gory. Keep it a 7.

The Boy–8.8/10

Similar to Orphan, it’s your basic scare with a huge twist.


Fairly predictable movie, but the last 20 minutes makes it one of the best.


Terrifying, and one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Beware the tapes.

Sinister 2–7.5/10

Scary like the first, but with a much different ending.

Insidious– 7.5/10

Interesting movie, good scares, but a lot better because of the sequels.

Insidious 2– 8.5/10

Better than the first, and keeps the scariness factor high.

Insidious 3 –8.3/10

Creepy movie, solid horror, with lots of jumpscares and a good storyline.


The first movie of a new series that’s possibly the best horror movie of this decade. A must-see.

Conjuring 2–8/10

Not quite the same as the first, but with more touching moments and an always-suspenseful ending this one doesn’t let down!


A prequel to Conjuring, this one is more Satan-centered but still freaky. Like the other two in the series (see above), a must-watch.


Planet of the Apes (new):

Rise- 8/10

Dawn- 9/10

War- 9/10

Lord of the Rings:

Fellowship– 8/10

Towers– 8.5/10

Return of the King– 9/10

Hobbit 1- 8/10

Hobbit 2- 8/10

Hobbit 3- 7.5/10

Star Wars:

Episode 1 (Phantom Menace)– 7.5/10

Episode 2 (Attack of the Clones)– 8/10

Episode 3 (Revenge of the Sith)– 9/10

Episode 4 (New Hope)– 8.5/10

Episode 5 (Empire Strikes Back)– 7.5/10

Episode 6 (Return of the Jedi)– 8/10

Episode 7 (Force Awakens)– 7.5/10

Episode 8 (Last Jedi)– 8.3 or 6 or 0 /10

Rogue One– 7.3/10

Television Shows

There are four television shows that I’ve really enjoyed.


Psych is another detective show, and besides being that it’s chalk-full of 80’s references, scenes that will crack you up, and a fantastic cast that has since become more famous.


This one centers on a group of spies, and the main character is a socially awkward, nerdy guy who gets a super computer downloaded into his brain. This is one of the funniest shows I’ve seen, and even my girlfriend -who normally has different tastes than me- got hooked on it.


A detective who has all kinds of disorders, who solves cases every episode. The biggest case of all, though, the death of his wife, is what drives the series. It’s emotional and hilarious.

White Collar

A show about a savvy, confident criminal who works with an FBI agent as part of his plea bargain. It’s fast-paced, and if you liked Ocean’s Eleven (or 12 or 13) then you’ll love this! Also, Matt Bomer.

List of Movies

Christmas Horror Movies List

A list of mostly terrible Christmas movies.

Christmas Horror Movies List 

A second list of mostly terrible Christmas movies.

Halloween Horror for Hairy, Scary People…

I mean movie watchers. It’s a list of mainly good and very frightening movies!